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There was a time when there were no books on marriages nor on pregnancy and having children. Now there are ample books, including scholarly non-fictions and numerous blogs, on both topics to choose from.

I join to blog my perspectives, and to propose areas of development, for ladies before embarking on the journey of the most controversial institution of marriage.

Is marriage for everyone?

I’m torn in my answer to the question. There’s a part of me that remembers and answers according to Matthew 19:11-12; see below. And with that would say that marriage is not for everyone. There’s the other part of me that says “how do you know if you haven’t tried it.”

This post is for those who desire marriage. Being fully cognizant of the fact that nothing in life is guaranteed, after all you’re only one part of the union, I pen in the hope that being prepared and intentionally developing one self signifies that you are doing your part towards having the marriage that you desire.

So, you think that you are ready for marriage. Are you really? How do you fare in the following areas? Let’s find out.

You have a boyfriend and are going steady. You believe that you are in love and that your boyfriend loves you. That’s great because mutuality is key in a relationship. But I’m sorry to disappoint you by letting you know that love alone no longer sustain marriages. If you’ve been listening to the news, marriages are falling apart not after the first five years now, but after having been married for decades – 10 – 27 years! What happened to the love? Your guess is as good as mine.

Self Development

Self development is lifelong. However, I have noticed that most ladies don’t self-develop themselves for marriage. I didn’t because I wasn’t aware of the need to and nobody told me that I had to. In retrospect, I wished now that I did. I didn’t even go through a pre-marriage counseling as I wasn’t married in a church. Anyways …

I’m proposing an intentional self development for pre-marriage. I hope it’s beneficial to those who embrace it.

Ladies, you must intentionally develop yourselves in 6, plus 1, main areas before deciding to marry. The earlier your self development starts, the better you would be in marriage.
The foundational areas of self development which I believe are essential, for ladies, for a successful marriage, not in any particular order but merely to form an easy acronym, “PEMFESS + P” are:

1. P – Physical (nutrition, health & wellness)
2. E – Emotional (emotions/maturity) / M – Mental (of the mind toughness)
3. F – Financial (yes, money)
4. E – Educational (college is still important)
5. S – Social (connectedness)
6. S – Spiritual (higher connection)
7. P – Productive / Work (job or business).

I believe that the above areas will develop you holistically and help build a strong/er foundation for your marriage.

The seven areas are interrelated. A success in one does not necessarily equate a success in the other, but a failure in one will definitely affect the other.

Read along with me as we think and talk through each area. To be continued.